pugilism

Arguing is the first association that comes to mind when I think of pugilism, and that got me thinking about differences in American and French conversation styles. While I don't wish to make any unfairly nomothetic statements, based on my experience I think that American and French people tend to have different attitudes towards arguing.

In American culture, we usually try to avoid arguments in conversation, unless they take place in a culturally sanctioned space such as a class discussion, a debate team meet or a political think tank program on tv. Outside of such contexts, arguing usually has a negative connotation. To our way of thinking, arguments erupt when two or more people are angry with each other, and while we do acknowledge the possibility for "healthy arguing," we usually prefer to "let sleeping dogs lie" unless or until we feel that an underlying disagreement must be addressed to release tension and/or repair a relationship.

When we make conversation, we like to smooth things over and keep the tone non-controversial (hence the saying about avoiding "sex, politics and religion") especially when talking to people we don't know well and thus aren't sure where we stand with. I once heard the American conversation style compared to jazz improvisation: one person expresses an idea and then second person echos and elaborates on what the first person said: "I'm so tired of this cold weather."    --"Me too. I'm ready for spring." It seems to me that we Americans like to talk about the weather because it's such an easy, inoffensive topic. Unfortunately, it also becomes meaningless after a while. I often catch myself nodding "yes" and agreeing with other people even when I don't particularly agree - and often because I don't fully understand what they're saying and I don't what to get into a more involved conversation with them!

The French have a somewhat different approach. Few if any taboos exist, and people enjoy friendly arguments about politics and current events. If American conversation is like a jazz improvisation session, it's more like a fencing match for the French: intelligent debate is what makes the conversation lively and interesting. Because debate is expected and considered good conversational form, a French person might defend an argument not because he or she necessarily agrees with it, but because he/she sees it as the role that needs to be filled in the conversation. I think this is particularly telling because it contrasts so sharply with what I contend the typical American attitude to be: that what I have to contribute to the conversation is my own opinion. If others don't agree with me I might try to persuade them, but I certainly wouldn't try to argue with them if they held the same opinion as me.

Fellow French students -- do you agree with my assessment? What has your experience been? How do the Germans compare? I'm interested to hear your take!